I wasn’t flightless. I never had been. I’d been shattered by the remnants of a past that could haunt, but my wings had not been torn or tattered by the testament of time.
I wasn’t cautious. I never had been. I’d tasted the richness of the saline ocean and skated through the gravel of a man made storm.
I wasn’t preposterous. I never had been. I’d danced along the bounds of the unthinkable and found my way from the fallen a thousand times a day before I woke.
I wasn’t worried. I never had been. I’d leapt across the caverns of fear in the years long before and did not foresee a time when I would again lack ease in my own endeavors.
I wasn’t thinking. I never had been. I’d seen the way you looked at me and believed in the truth of sincerity with such a firmness of heart I was nearly naive.
I wasn’t ready. I never had been. I’d let you into my heart without thinking, my sturdy walls tripping over their foundations as you graced me with your touch.
I wasn’t empty. I never had been. I’d wanted to fill a bucket that was only abstraction and only added to an oblivion that required no completion.
I wasn’t angry. I never had been. I’d wished my whole world was as easy as the moments spent in silence in the backseat but I realized they couldn’t be.
I wasn’t cold. I never had been. I’d noticed that the warmth is much more tender to the touch then an ice-hardened heart and I only desired to be the beating warmth against your skin.
I wasn’t lost. I never had been. I’d prayed for a direction I already knew and had only been clouded by stormy weather and proposals without sincerity.
I wasn’t myself. I never had been. I’d morphed like a chameleon to the flesh of your palm and laughed in the face of a reflection no longer my own.
I wasn’t her. I never had been. I’d become a master of the disguises I painted, making a mockery of the girl beneath the mask of fate and time.
I wasn’t foolish. I never had been. I’d only wanted you.
Poulson is a contributor for The Millennial Times.